whether it's stockholm syndrome, nostalgia, or some fucked up combination of both, i really do miss my alma mater sometimes.
i drove through a college campus the other day and i was hit with a profound sense of deja vu. all those brick buildings and walkways, The Street that delineates "campus" and "downtown", once again being in an environment where every single person walking around is roughly the same age as me. but it's just not the same as MY college town i spent 4 years making friends, enemies, and absolutely 0 useful connections in.
maybe it's the same feeling that keeps every graduate coming back for football games, sneaking into the student section and getting yelled at by the security guards for getting too rowdy. maybe it's not having the same level of responsibilities, or the same level of freedom. or maybe im overthinking it, and i miss the little home away from home that i managed to secure, just for a little while.
as An Adult, it's now up to me to make new friends, participate in and develop new hobbies, balance my budget, save for retirement, make sure i don't get fired from my job, work. the list goes on endlessly. but i think what's most important to me is not to lose my soul.
and that's why i really miss my college years. because as i transitioned from a child into something resembling an adult, i finally started being able to set aside all of the expectations placed upon me by my parents and family. i finally learned that i am a person, and more than the pet project my parents have been incubating for a couple decades.
and now comes the hard part! college was supposed to be the "discovering myself" period, but im only starting to learn those types of lessons now. when all the planned out options my life has been following have finally run out, when i finally have the freedom young me so desperately fought for, what do i do now?
i honestly don't know. and that's a little scary to me. but as long as i keep my signature naive outlook on the world and irrationally unshakable optimism, i know ill figure something out :)
i drove through a college campus the other day and i was hit with a profound sense of deja vu. all those brick buildings and walkways, The Street that delineates "campus" and "downtown", once again being in an environment where every single person walking around is roughly the same age as me. but it's just not the same as MY college town i spent 4 years making friends, enemies, and absolutely 0 useful connections in.
maybe it's the same feeling that keeps every graduate coming back for football games, sneaking into the student section and getting yelled at by the security guards for getting too rowdy. maybe it's not having the same level of responsibilities, or the same level of freedom. or maybe im overthinking it, and i miss the little home away from home that i managed to secure, just for a little while.
as An Adult, it's now up to me to make new friends, participate in and develop new hobbies, balance my budget, save for retirement, make sure i don't get fired from my job, work. the list goes on endlessly. but i think what's most important to me is not to lose my soul.
and that's why i really miss my college years. because as i transitioned from a child into something resembling an adult, i finally started being able to set aside all of the expectations placed upon me by my parents and family. i finally learned that i am a person, and more than the pet project my parents have been incubating for a couple decades.
and now comes the hard part! college was supposed to be the "discovering myself" period, but im only starting to learn those types of lessons now. when all the planned out options my life has been following have finally run out, when i finally have the freedom young me so desperately fought for, what do i do now?
i honestly don't know. and that's a little scary to me. but as long as i keep my signature naive outlook on the world and irrationally unshakable optimism, i know ill figure something out :)