When I was a kid I used to think stoplights were controlled manually by a dude sitting in an underground control room who pushed the button for the light to change and I thought all the control room guys were conspiring against my mom to make all the stoplights turn red and make her mad, so I had an elaborate plan to steal a crowbar from Lowe's and sneak into the city storm sewer and find their control rooms and beat the shit out of them.
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They are, they were, and the secret room under the basketball court with games is real
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