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I had a lot happen to me in my most recent time away but to be honest you guys were in the back of my mind a lot of the time. To me there will never be another place like fedi and another people that make it up like you guys, and you guys have made a wonderful (oftentimes chaotic) place of it, and it's never a boring time even if there's a fire in the kitchen. As for giving you a chance to make things up, I'm all about second chances because I'm on my fifth and even sixth with a lot of people. I can't be that much of a hypocrite.
You're going to keep making this an interesting and chill place to be and hopefully along that way I can be part of that vision somehow, in some way. You've sank a lot of time and effort into this place, so does p, so does ins0m, a lot of you guys do. I get it.
That's an interesting gesture, and I'll think on it. I don't mind being on Poa.st at all, it was the second instance I ever went to and I'm still happy it's around. It's perfectly okay graf, we live and we learn, and we get heated in the moment and say awful things to each other and I even went over the top with a lot of my own B.S. (calling milk a chomo was absolutely unhinged behavior btw, if he ever reads this I was and still am sorry for that), so I get it. You were put in a lot of unflattering and compromising positions graf, you had a lot of threats to look out for and you were responsible (still are) for the safety of thousands. I don't blame you for feeling the way you did about me and acting the way you did toward me, a lot of it I brought on myself. But that's living and learning, we realize our complicity in our behavior and how we're responsible for it, we own up to it, we move on. That's the way it goes, and I'm happy to be able to have this moment to say that here with you. It's all good.

And hey. I'm sorry too. There's a lot to apologize for, a lot of shifty and shitty behavior that I know you discussed, but in the end I'm no bad actor. A bad person sometimes yeah, it's a product of a lot of things, but I wouldn't want to hurt you, your platform, your users, nothing. I made a lot of laughs with you guys, made some fun content for you all, cried with some of you too, you remember you and I watched the sun rise in some foreign nation on a livestream with several other guys to watch a geopolitical shitshow unravel. Just all around had a blast and I wouldn't even take away the bad moments. Fedi's pretty cool good and bad, and I think it's in good hands with you and the admins.

It's so weird not using six layers of irony to talk about or make fun of something to protect my ego too or just write something off as insincere snark. I kind of had a conversation with Madison earlier that was like that. idk maybe there's something to being medicated. Time will tell.

You weren't here but my 40th past and I realized I'd held grudges for so many for so long and I thought long and hard about it and I want to make fedi fun again. we fundraised, gave some devs some cash we drummed up thinking of ideas of things we could add to profiles to make it fun and interesting. this is my home now. unfortunately I am forever tied to poast in pseudonym and real name, forever. if I'm stuck here with you guys, I want it to feel like 2021 again. everything was new and exciting to us. so I wiped the slate clean. even unblocked pernia and cum.salon. there are some obvious caveats (poison dart pedo for example) but for the most part everything was wiped. it's been a fun month. rarely any major fights. people working together. I hope it continues, truly
@graf @ins0mniak @AWIVR @GoyGirl @koropokkur @Robert_Edwardly @pepsi_man @NonPlayableClown @Owl honestly chad move, I ended up doing the same thing

looking back over the past three or so years I've ran this instance I was overly whiplashy with the likes of user deactivations and instance defeds, after seeing graf wipe most of poast's defeds I figured the best way to deal with my situation was to do the same thing and blanket unban everyone that wasn't a kiddy diddler

the instance hasn't blown up and I haven't been doxxed so I want to say it has been a successful endeavor so far

back in 2022 we wrote an MRF that checked a user account date and if it didnt match an artbitrary threshold the posts were dropped immediately and the timeline cleaned up almost instantly. 99% of the bullshit back then was people making driveby accounts to insult me or somebody else or make one shitpost and vanish. even 24 hours was enough in some instances

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