Egregoros

@twinspin6 grandma is dying (not really, just suffering immensely) and vomiting and bleeding out (and into) his eyes after a 2nd botched eye surgery (yesterday) (better than 1rst one though, 3rd one coming soon)

my irl bestie/colleague is >-< this close to rage quitting job (we have same job) and if he rage quits very many bad things will occur (to me, stress and negative emotions)

today contractors at home managed to crash their digger window into 3000 shards into the rainy mud by reversing into a support beam of a cable post (the cable post is fine, its 2 large bars of rebar concrete, but yard is full of infinite glass shards) (the danger area is now cordoned off by temporary fence so dogs dont get 40000 shards in their paws)

one of my bosses is mega schizoing me and its pissing me off

i didnt sleep today at all well

heavily frustrated at the state for multiple reasons, but majority frustration comes from defence/army issues that i see but cant fix nor discuss

i need to make my yearly enterprise reports which are p much done but i have to proof everything and sign them

i am still internally recovering from 22 work days in a row without breakdays that were 12 hours (10h-14h) long on average, but i already gotta back this weekend for anudda one (should be less overtime this time)

there is no boy to hold

and i wrote the OP post 30 seconds after i got yelled at by the car inspection garage (technical overview or whatever its called in english) because the inside of my car was not clean (its quite clay-covered/muddy on the inside) and the inspector got really mad (with good reason i think)

2 of my fruit trees died this winter (an apricot and a peach tree, they survived well about ~10 years) and i have to cut them down and out of the ground

i had to cut 3 trees away from next my rose garden and now the 3 roses i had planted under the trees that needed half shade, are being burnt/bleached to death by the sun this year ;_; (this includes the pain of my bestest rose, my Minerva that smells so strong and delightful and grows so thick, that 3 heads of the rose in a vase make the entire house smell like a blooming and living rose garden)

an assload (~1 hour) of personal tax paperwork that i need to fill (unrelated to all previous things) (headache)

there is no boy to hold


and so instead i play the blues on the guitar and make game and play some solitaire (zach and i just bought the "A Solitaire Mystery Collection" on steam by the same guy and friends who made Baba Is You and the likes)