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@phnt if I have a panic attack I have to take a lorazepam and if that doesn't help relieve it I have to take xanax as a last resort and trying to type on gboard with that is impossible. You can tell when I've had a panic attack because if you text me it's just random letters but in the length of the word im trying to type. I hate this life but my dr gave me a new med I'm hoping will stop the anxiety and panic attacks altogether
@Kirino @phnt this isn't fully true -- I have been trying to fix it for 6 years but my old doctor just consistently sent me for blood tests and then gave me nothing for it. just another blood text a couple weeks later. kinda glad he either died or had some medical issue because this new doctor actually cares and she's my age and made eye contact when she cupped my balls so

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@captainslow @BarelyEagle @Kirino @phnt she gave me ...another SSRI. this one she told me will cause major panic attacks while I get used to it so I front loaded taking it with taking a small (1/4 xanax or a 0,5mg lorazepam which is like 1/4 what I was prescribed) and I haven't had any issues. felt great for 2-3 weeks. next week will be a month so I will stop taking the benzo the following week and see if I get anxiety or panic attack. if I don't, I will be elated. I'll keep the benzos around in case it doesnt actually work but 2-3 weeks without one when I'd get one at least once a week is a good sign. sorry for the novel
@captainslow @BarelyEagle @Kirino @phnt it's weird because I can just be hacking on pleroma or our front end beta and listening to music and it just comes on. sitting outside when it's cold helps but we're in 30+ (80-90 temps) daily here so I cant do that unfortunately.

I can go without drinking for an entire month, two months and it will still happen so I question if its related or just a side effect of the damage already done
@captainslow @BarelyEagle @Kirino @phnt i dont take any other drugs no thc or cbd even. I thought it was early onset hyperglycemia and it was a reaction to low/high blood sugar but nope I was always fine and eating did nothing. if I had 2 pints the anxiety would go away. I think that is just because its a depressant like xanax and lorazepam so it worked the same way. much faster. but I cant be drinking 2-3 pints a day because I have some life changes maybe coing up that I need to be sober for